My friends and I were discussing this a while back, and realizing that all too often, we push risk aside because we are afraid of failure. I know that I often become stymied because I am more afraid of failure than I am attracted to success. When I say success, I don’t necessarily mean, monetary or any other particular standard. I simply mean achieving my goals. Quite honestly, I just don’t want to look like an idiot.
So today marks the one year anniversary of Floodgate Productions being open for business as a 3-man crew. We all just took some of the biggest risks of our lives, and God has taken care of us better than we could have even hoped. There have been many questions and doubts along the way, but we have seen that the bigger the steps we take in faith, the more ground we cover.
I also took a big step personally in applying to CalArts MFA program. The thing is, I have shared this with many people now. It doesn’t totally worry me if I don’t get in. I have a great future otherwise, doing what I’m already doing. My fear exists mostly in having to explain to people if I don’t get in. But I am starting to realize that the pursuit has many benefits, even if I don’t get in. It has brought me and my wife closer as we talk through how our lives would change, seeing her unyielding support for me. It has brought me closer to my friends/partners at Floodgate as we discuss how to make a long-distance work relationship happen.
So here’s to failure and success, and simply moving forward. I am hopeful for many new and unexpected challenges and steps of faith yet to take.
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